u doing u

Early on when I was going to break it off after the first time I was subjected to the silent treatment, but she is so good at what she does, and in truth I wanted so much for it to work out. In my defense friends, if you read my last submission, an email I sent almost exactly 1 month to the day after discard, I'm obviously writing to a narcissist, and I can see in looking back over that email, and many others, which I will post here soon, I'm just as obviously writing to the sociopath version of narcissist, boy can I pick em, or what? Or I guess I should say, boy can she, rather "it" pick em!

In any case this is a poem/song/rap if yHosted from BlogSpotou prefer; Well, flow is what I do with it anyway, but the title of the piece is based on something she said on this day when I was ending he relationship, about 3 months or so into it, and she put some God said thing together in her mind; "I think God in His infinite wisdom knows what's best for me, and He says it's you, so are you willing?" is what she said.

We exchanged a few more words, where I asked her; "How do you know it's me, have you asked?" Made sense to me, but she said I don't have to ask, I can tell.  Here, this is easier...

What she is actually doing here, is wanting me to be responsible for her libido, and not have any sex drive myself, which simply isn't me, nor would I ever want it to be, and she goes on to say; "It doesn't seem I'm worth it." I then say; Guilt trip now, huh? She replies; "No guilt trip, you do you." That is where  this rhyme originated.. As usual I welcome feedback, and constructive criticism, and remember the whole reason this blog exists, is for you, the readers/followers to judge, and decide for yourselves, is she, or is she not a narcissistic sociopath/malignant narcissist?

Well, check it out, and I'll have the audio with beat track, and me doing my thing sometime today, when either Facebook recorder finishes uploading it, or when I record it again, but sometime today, that I can almost guarantee.

u Do you

you infiltrated my life, just to rape my mind, you never cared, were just killing time, bored and relentless are 2 words to describe, what you portray as lonely and passionate, as you cover up your lies.
Desperate and seeking, sneaking around and fleecing, church folk for their sympathy, acting broken and obsequiously, you hooked them, with your tendrils of feigned compassion, but inside the lashing you've kept pent up, against yourself,
but you'll not feel a single blow. Rather, you'll slather up the names of those who've loved u, and all you'll ever know.
Leave them aching and breaking, quaking in despair, but you don't care, this is just what you do. Slip a lip, displace a hip, make chips and dip, call it a meal, they get their fill, though you promised a perfectly prepared entree, but perhaps on another day, is what you say,
and never come through, but hey, that's just you, being you.
Yeah, that's just you doing you.
Seduction is all you know to gain control, and you do it very well, this hell you subject them to, but hey, that's just you doing you.

Lies, manipulation, double standards, triangulation, monogamy is what you preach, but threesomes and orgies is what you seek.
Never without an answer, to the questions you're always asked, and never without a reason, your answers are always masked, shrouded in confusion, as to how, who, where, what, why, and when, and somehow my conversation becomes a game,you must win.
All of that, like you is behind me now, yet somehow you keep me holding on, and it's so wrong, because I don't like you, don't want to fight you, excite, delight, entice, advise, excise, exorcise u

That's about the depth you've left, I'm bereft, and longing for any open door leading in the opposite direction, from the projection, deflection, insurrection, deception, and cruel intentions, others find it so hard to believe could be the heart of your existence,
but once beyond the wall of cognitive dissonance, it's inevitable you're seen as the mean, vile serpentine, devils wing, you take flight through the night just to fight to keep upright the mask concealing who I've been dealing, with in frustration,

but you hold answers, incredulous intentional disasters, all by your hand, not by chance or accident, but through malice, and malevolence, you twist words, and warp minds, once again just killing time, for spite, no it's all in fun, for you most definitely, but you're the only one.

The only one who gets to smile, gets to laugh, all the while the truth inside you, eventually shows, the contempt, and self loathing you must impose, upon others, to their harm, whatever happened to the charm, ur smile feigning true, as a grimace follows, seen only by few, the pain so deep, but ur too numb, to comprehend the plight of some,

not some but all, you've inflated, deflated, incensed, entrenched, enmeshed, obsessed, all this, and for what, just a slut, a facade, a trick deck of cards, an illusion, allusion, allocution, prostitution, to deal with this shit, gotta have an iron constitution.

In any case, I'm tired, no desire, fed up, heads up, is the reason I'm sending this out as a type of warning for those in mourning over a mist, a vapor, just a reflection, orchestrated to succeed in this caper, to steal the soul of the empathetic, genuinely sympathetic,

with magnetic harm, oops, I mean charm, no I don't, I meant what I said, like I always do, and your nothing new, nothing to fear, only steer clear of the magick, yeah magick with a K, cause if you ever knew the Lord, you don't today, and to be honest, which is something you just can't do, but once again, that's just you being you.

Seduction is all you know to gain control, and you do it very well, this hell you subject them to, but hey, that's just you doing you.


So, go on and do u, ain't nobody here wants to, and that's just u doing u again, and again, I called you friend without end, but like always you played me for a fool, a tool, like a ball of yarn or thread on a spool, u train the brain to think whatever you want it to, and your to blame for the shame of the game, that's so lame, and then you act so tame, pointing fingers that linger, when I finally get an attitude, and once again that's just you being you.

Part 2 Hey, I saw you at the stoplight, you said that’s not right, here comes the gaslight, act like I’m starting a fight, so you can play it right, tight, slight of hand, then disappear for the rest of the night, stomach is twisted in knots now, and I’m about out of thoughts now, no brand, incomplete, strange beat, on the street again, but it’s much too soon.
won’t talk to me maybe for a week, or at least, the rest of the night, except to say, you won’t be interrogated that way, and you’re tired, frustrated enraged, , what way, is it you’re trying to say, fact is you always get in the way, of the weight of your own lies, puts me in a state of is she or isn't she, and if she is why? Enough, can’t do this no more, and even deserting, if there were certain things about you, that might make me want to feel, like want you still, but it’s just not possible, for you to lay, aside the fake persona you wear, and when I compare, the you I see when you’re tired or doing your cooking thing, it’s not a task, but you drop the mask, anytime you notice you’ve been at all exposed, you go out of your way just to provoke, looking for reasons to explode. And your attitude, you act so rude, not sure what it is you’re trying to prove, but I’m sick of it, like almost every little bit about you, or at least that I can see, it’s clear you’re trying to do whatever crazy making thing you can construe. But hey, that's just you doing you. So, go on and do you, ain't nobody else waiting up here gonna want to, and that's just u doing u again, and again, I called you friend without end, but like you always do you played me for a fool, or a tool, like a ball of yarn or thread on a spool, u train the brain to think whatever you want it to, and you're to blame for the shame of the game, that's so lame, and then you act so tame, pointing fingers that linger, when I finally get an attitude, telling others I’m just abjectly rude, cause you’d never divulge the truth, about you, and how obtuse, and out of touch you really are, you don’t travel far, cause you’re here now, and within these 4 walls, you’re a star,

you think, but you ain’t it, you ain’t the one, and hanging with you, you know it stopped being fun, and it’s been that way for a while now, ever since you betrayed me, I could see it in your smile now, over 2500 miles now, I went so far just to see that face, but you replaced me anyway, feigning grace, straight face, common place, for ur kinda chase, but I have to say, it’s a sickness, I have to say, nothing left I accept, except an apology, I’m sure I’ll never get, as you forget to say anything to the one you were replacing and the one who sealed his doom, sealed his fate, on your first date, you got home late, knowing I would wait,

always the trusting one, thinking you was out having good clean fun, man, I was such a fool, while you fill up the hours in your day, making excuses why you’re away, but you’re really just getting laid, every night and every day, got the nerve enough, that you ask of me to pray to keep you safe, now I know it’s hallmark, and cardinal traits, stacking up to show the disgrace that identifies you, but you lie about that too, and once again that's just you being you.

That’s right, narcissist, that’s just you doing you, of course I am disappointed sociopath, are you sure, the aftermath, of not hearing your voice or stealing my mask, but it’s only used for the sports I play, not to get in the way, of I love you’s, in every little stupid thing I do and say, and I’m free to do me, with liberty, I ain’t got to worry about what you do or don’t see, cause I’ve finally reached that place, when and if I see ur face, it reminds me of the one I once thought I loved, and I was too much, yet could never be enough,

the empty beast, as she feasts, on yet another one, but this time sorry son, I just have to say, I turned around and walked away, because, it just got real to me, she will never be, any of what she promised to be, not only not for me, but for anybody, it just takes charity, and others will see the reality of the real you, loving the real me, and we’ll go from there, but for now, we’re going to take our time, and to make you mine, I’m also gonna make… a brand new history,
God forbid u ever let them see the shit you pull, as you yo-yo some poor soul, and take control, again, just like the last time, damn.... I knew u didn't change just changed the rules to the the same old game, added some players to entertain on ur stage, where you play life, play wife, grave site, sharp knife, but still you go on too stupid to catch on too dumb to run, so u sit, don't give a shit, if this is it, than this is it, but before I go let me get one more hit of that shit.

I've never done it, never made exception, in the midst of all your switchin, just like true grit or any western, and, I let you flip out, twist and shout, screaming like gwen stefani when she was no doubt, now you pout, that's really what you're about? any time you don't get your way, you act like a child at their sibling's birthday, and u say, it's not fair, i don't care, sit and stare from the corner in a chair, while the music blares from the brand new laptop, I just bought you, now you've got 2, no wait, my mistake that one makes four, and still you want more more more, never get enough,

never give anything at all,, just watch me crawl, starving for attention, affection, can i get anything from you more than abject rejection, projection and deflection, or do you really have that poor of recollection?