I've been sentenced to exile. My crime, being genuine, loving, and not being willing to be bullied, and keep a covert narcissist's double life secret. Since coming forward, I've been maligned like never before, minimized by those in the CN's employ, belittled by pastors, and assistant pastors, unfriended, blocked and deleted by so called facebook friends, and told I was crazy and vindictive by hoards of people I don't know, simply because I've been working tirelessly for the last 11 months to prevent others from being victimized by what I've determined to be a demon in human skin.
Though she victimized me, she has all of the above believing her to be a victim, yet there's been no significant change in her life, she was in another relationship before ours ever met its demise, and she is for all intents and purpose unaffected.

Meanwhile, I've all but lost my job, my home, a great number of "friends" real or imagined lol, respect, self respect, self esteem, self worth, ability to "put myself out there again", sleep, faith, confidence in humanity, and self awareness, and have been seeing a therapist and psychiatrist, as I've been diagnoses with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and as many of you know have had severe edema in my feet, hands, wrists and ankles since April, and as soon as medical comes through I'll be able to take the necessary tests to find out what the underlying issue is, but we've eliminated kidney and liver, so all that is left is the heart, and all signs point to congestive heart failure, brought on by her Michelle Dawn Howard intentionally raising my stress B level to critical.
I'm letting this go for now, and I'm severely distraught because I believe this "victim" is now engaged, and it just seems so odd to me. as she by everyone's account is completely normal, that so soon after telling me...

M Dawn Howard
"I hope you know how much I truly love you. I can't see myself ever being with anyone else in life. You were perfect for me all along and I was made for you."

The above statement was made by her at least 100 times, in various ways up to just a few months before she decided to kill me off in her mind, and the reality of this starting to take form, was either right before or right after my June 2015 (Father's Day) round trip flight, and rental car from San Jose, CA to Columbus, OH, then the drive from Columbus to McDermott, which is just about as south as you can get before ur in Kentucky.

Mmm yeah this whore did quite the job of fooling me she was not only human, but actually had a conscience, loved me, loved God, and wanted nothing more than for us to wed, and live forever in and from an immutable, and eternal perspective for us. Excuse me for a moment won't you dear reader, as I have to address the ongoing voice of unreasonable influence in my head, it's just one of many filters incredibly TOXIC individuals implant as part of the insidious nature of who they are and the sinister reality of their continually unfolding agenda, that mostly effects, and infects the victim, long after they've abandoned  the target/victim, and the "manipulationship" they singlehandedly built, then dismantled, and somehow have blamed the lot of it, everything, including their "hurt", displeasure, and abysmal attempt at feigning sadness and disappointment over the defunct union, as if exactly what is happening somehow isn't exactly what they'd schemed and orchestrated from day one. See, this here, these times and these moments of cognitive dissonance, these are what she lives for  in the lives of her never ending flow of victims,  as she uses the salt from their tears as seasoning for a dish known to be best when served cold, yet there is no cause for her effect, no warranting this insatiable need for revenge against those who've only brought her adoration, concern, respect, and entertainment, but never quite as chilled as the dead, black mass, masquerading itself as her heart, as just like her biblical illustrative equivalent, the woman possessing an adulterous heart, found in Proverbs 30:20, as she too eats, wipes her mouth, but the ever present smirk remains, as she says; "I've done no wickedness." just as we'd expect to hear from the nefarious succubus, who holds contempt in high regard, and infidelity her banner, while she herself, hides, and shrinks away from her self imposed reality, shifting the burden of shame onto those closest in proximity, once again successfully shirking her own responsibility, as  she looks around, and again something is amiss, oh well, she for the briefest moment concedes it is her, the one in black, the reflection incorruptible as none of what is reflected is remotely close to the quickly eroding fantasy of youth, losing its elacticity, as is the case for all of us unilaterally, and there's no "favorites" in the classes one needs attend, during their sometimes seemingly eternal stay at the proverbial "school of hard knocks", if they ever plan to graduate, wear big kid pants, and actually make some kind of noticeable difference, and long term change, to abandon their place as a huge part of the problem, deciding adamantly, yet unchanging in pursuit, just a fancy way of saying "all talk and no action", as can be said of every distinguishable aspect of ur tedious and parasitic existence and still no new solution, to the days old problem, and the confusion she like the rest of her ilk actually live, breathe and move just to be cause of.. smh.                          

Please forgive my sidebar to the most annoying interloper I've ever had the displeasure of meeting.                                                                                                  
If ur not going to own the truth of all this, michelle, fine, then say NOTHING, because as u know I have property I either need to rent, or sell, or do something else with, but I will be there in not too long a time now, and I have my agenda, but so far it hasn't included being so frustrated with ur pathologically lying and serial cheating, then playing the victim, remember what I told u c u next tuesday, that ur more than welcome to make urself a cu next tuesday, then nobody will want to come out here,  especially after seeing for themselves, as ur so flippin bouncy when ur in the honeymoon period, telling these huge lies that actually mean  nothing to you, just as they meant nothing to when u were spewing them at me, and of course as always,  victimizing urself. I think it's high time u get some of the stuff that made u such a malignant, toxic, piece of shit, as when I treatedu with nothing but kindness and deference, u went from bad to worse, to appalling, to simply impossible to be human, and this is the primary reason I know beyond any doubt regardless what psychological label anyone chooses to put on it, I"m convinced by your behavior, your words, and your actions, just as I said to you 3 years ago, almost to the day, when u inquired of me, about a person who does these things.
I now see the questions u were in ur weird cluster fuck way,  asking were actually admitting to me ur intentions, and letting me know  what u'd planned, and what I should come to expect of u.
 before u hit the play button on the next 2 years, and I'm sure u lack the EQ to figure out what else you've just stated in the timing of the verbatim questioning, I'm not stupid, even though and I'm sure I remember u  telling me about being a little girl, and getting punched square in your mouth, by ur mom, dad, whoever, don't even care anymore, as it's probably as real as u are in relationships, but I'm glad I've been able to network, not only with other toxey cluster b's like u, and her, but with other simple, yet incredibly complex, as are we all who make up a part of the genuine human condition.

It definitely makes it a lot easier when tasked by the community of humanity to do what I did before and out ur worthless asses, and, u getting punched square in ur whore mouth, smirk, would also be very fitting, personally fulfilling, and entertaining for me  to see, to say the least, yeah, I'd like that a lot. So very fitting for a chronically lying, demonic sadistic, serial cheater void of conscience   such as ur self punching u square in the mouth, just to see if it's an automaton. Now I know it was, because she had secured a fresh source of narcissistic supply, but she kept me around for her primal urges, and deviant mostly hidden bents toward the perverse, might as well come out with it, as ur fans don't even care how perverse ya'll are, because u've had them sleeping for so long now, it's clear ur the devil, and some may even know it, but come the morning, though u've consumed just a bit more of each of them, they'll know nothing, as she continued messing with my head, as she was continuing to send me listings for homes near her, as well as discounted flights, and also continued to tell me how much she loved me, and still had need of me being on Skype 5 hours per day, but no longer in the mornings, and I'm sure it was because she was Skyping with the new source. Narcissists need constant admiration, attention, and adulation, and wake up empty every single day, so we would talk around 5am every morning up till sometime in July, but I noticed it already beginning in June 2015, and intermittently beyond that to late December of that same year.

For 16 months I've studied narcissism, along with sociopathy, psychopathy, cluster B type personalities along with comorbids within cluster b, as well as in conjunction with a slew of mental disorders to go along with their/her personality disorder, and their respective relationship cycles, and one thing is clear to me. When someone presents 10 of 10, and 9 of 9 traits of anything, and one finds themselves having to recreate history in order for the subject to NOT be completely pigeonholed into a definition, one can't just waive it off and move forward. There is a sense of moral responsibility, and I tried, God knows I tried, but it seems to no avail, and I have literally wept for the inevitable harm that is to come to her newest victim, fiance, if she is indeed engaged.
My focus now is, and needs to be getting back to where I used to live daily, in God's great love, and unfailing mercy. This has been very difficult for me, as I've been extremely angry with God for allowing this demon in human skin to infiltrate my life, and proceed to systematically build a false world, and false future, with nothing to sustain it but fantasy, and abject lies, then to just as systematically dismantle it, along with my psyche,and rather than ever come clean on the whole ruse, she chooses instead to blame the victim once again, and this time it's or the dissolving of the "manipulationship" they orchestrated from about 2 weeks before u'll ever know as they decided (lie) day one, Dismantling one's psyche is dismantling the part that makes them who they are, it's the part of a person that is most responsible for making one into the person everyone knows.