It's actually been over a year since she discarded me without a 2nd thought, after 22 months, the first 18 of which she spent thoroughly convincing me she could never leave the relationship, and listed numerous reasons for this assertion in various superlative commentary. In short, she lied, because it's what she does, and in fact as far as I can tell, not only is lying one of the pathological traits of NPD/ASPD, but is a trait dictated by the pathology itself.
That said; looking back I can point out different oddities shall we say in her behavior, but as with most personality quirks up to that point, I quickly brushed it off, and got back to what I was sure was mutual adoration and desire.
I think the first thing I want to do is set a precedent, and what I mean by that is I am going to list Cardinal and Hallmark traits of a person who is best described as either a "female covert malignant narcissist" or a "female covert sadistic, narcissistic spousal predacious sociopath", and I know I've used a lot of words to say "self serving ass", or if you prefer I'll give you space to use the expletive of your choice "self serving ___________-", so what I want to do, as I've become all too familiar with what she is and just how screwed up that actually makes her, is go through the definition of each adjective, on the left and how these have presented specifically in her on the right. However until I figure out just how to set up a double column parallel, I'm going to do it this way, and see how well it works. This should be interesting.
Before we do that however, I want to first answer the question, why? I mean who cares really, or what do you expect to accomplish with all this?
I have a problem with those who not only wish to live a polar opposite dual life, but more so when my "live and let live" POV is encroached upon, and soon I find myself a victim of severe psychological abuse, while at the same time the "C U Next Tuesday" who'd been subjecting me to said abuse, has what seems to be the whole world, if not at least the Northern Hemisphere believing not only am I the abuser, but that I'm abusing the most innocent, demure, chaste, picture of perfect piety the world, or God for that matter could have the pleasure of knowing.
Meanwhile on the same days she is performing the role of humble and unassuming, helpless waif, completely sold out to God, and wants only to have a sweet testimony of Jesus, and that is all she needs to be content in this world, different hours of those days, she's the most sexually deviant, NON gender preferential, sycophantic, depraved, "Hurt me Master" sex addicted, group sex preferring, abject whore, I've ever met in my life.
Before I go any further, I want to make clear, I've got no issue with whores, and if anything I've less issue with whores than I do with a lot of church folk, and notice please the verbiage, I didn't say Christians, as I've no issue whatsoever with any people group, regardless how they identify, but if you are one who is all about talking about it, and little to no BEing about it, that's where I begin to have a problem, because invariably it is this type who go on some personal crusade to save whoever, their drug dealer we'll say for the sake of argument, and just to make it real interesting, the drug addled addict in this case, is a police officer.
Problem is they know they ain't going to bust them at all, but it sure looks like an episode of Cops , just the subject content alone. Okay, that said, what I do have a major problem with is hypocrites, who either are so blind to themselves, and unwilling to ever look at self, meaning introspection, they are blind the the very core of who they are. Now, it's either that, or they are a whole new kind of stupid, and and I know what you mean, as we're all guilty of doing stupid crap sometimes, and that's ok too, but when you've been on a good one for the last 10 hours, days, weeks, even 10 years, and somehow you get the notion it's a good time to go preach the salvation of Jesus for sinners, I'm of the opinion, you need to sit down, come down, then go lay down, and sleep. On the same token, if you're going to act like a good chaste little girl demure virgin type in the company of some, but with others, you're going to be just as raunchy, slutty, and vocally have sailors telling you to please watch your language, don't expect me to join you in your hypocrisy, especially when in very short order you're going to shift the blame of it, onto me.
Somehow though, after I was the one to come forward about our, shall we say "indiscretions", and in so doing presented the facts with my full complicity expressed and noted, yet somehow, she's a victim, and I oddly enough have been consistently treated, and ostracized as the consummate perp. ALL LIES. The other reason, or hope I have in doing this, is I'll actually get some followers, and then you, her peers will decide based on the evidence whether or not it is unanimous that she is indeed as I've labeled her, or if I'm a paranoid weirdo who needs mental help. Well, actually, I don't want to give away the farm on the first day, but I'll say this, either this wholesome flower indeed did subject me to some horribly abusive words, attitude, I must confess, under duress, I've made some empty threats more than a few. Anyway, as I was saying if this woman truly is a neuro-typical, and she's the only persob who's could be considered germane in my life, than somehow in a vacuum somewhere I developed according to psychiatrists, and clinicians CPTSD, Anxiety Disorder, Panic Attacks, and even some Dissociation, just for good measure. None of that is possible in a vacuum, and you and I dear reader know this is all purely academic, as in what I've written just to this point, providing it's veracity is without question, and I know it is; If being a cluster b malignant narcissist was against the law in itself, she'd done been gaffled up, and probably doing hole time for getting on somebody's nerves, which to me is poetic justice, because let me tell you, she's got some freaking nerve.
Okay, shall we begin?
The Covert Narcissist
DONE
2. Always having a grandiose personality
That said; looking back I can point out different oddities shall we say in her behavior, but as with most personality quirks up to that point, I quickly brushed it off, and got back to what I was sure was mutual adoration and desire.
I think the first thing I want to do is set a precedent, and what I mean by that is I am going to list Cardinal and Hallmark traits of a person who is best described as either a "female covert malignant narcissist" or a "female covert sadistic, narcissistic spousal predacious sociopath", and I know I've used a lot of words to say "self serving ass", or if you prefer I'll give you space to use the expletive of your choice "self serving ___________-", so what I want to do, as I've become all too familiar with what she is and just how screwed up that actually makes her, is go through the definition of each adjective, on the left and how these have presented specifically in her on the right. However until I figure out just how to set up a double column parallel, I'm going to do it this way, and see how well it works. This should be interesting.
Before we do that however, I want to first answer the question, why? I mean who cares really, or what do you expect to accomplish with all this?
I have a problem with those who not only wish to live a polar opposite dual life, but more so when my "live and let live" POV is encroached upon, and soon I find myself a victim of severe psychological abuse, while at the same time the "C U Next Tuesday" who'd been subjecting me to said abuse, has what seems to be the whole world, if not at least the Northern Hemisphere believing not only am I the abuser, but that I'm abusing the most innocent, demure, chaste, picture of perfect piety the world, or God for that matter could have the pleasure of knowing.
Meanwhile on the same days she is performing the role of humble and unassuming, helpless waif, completely sold out to God, and wants only to have a sweet testimony of Jesus, and that is all she needs to be content in this world, different hours of those days, she's the most sexually deviant, NON gender preferential, sycophantic, depraved, "Hurt me Master" sex addicted, group sex preferring, abject whore, I've ever met in my life.
Before I go any further, I want to make clear, I've got no issue with whores, and if anything I've less issue with whores than I do with a lot of church folk, and notice please the verbiage, I didn't say Christians, as I've no issue whatsoever with any people group, regardless how they identify, but if you are one who is all about talking about it, and little to no BEing about it, that's where I begin to have a problem, because invariably it is this type who go on some personal crusade to save whoever, their drug dealer we'll say for the sake of argument, and just to make it real interesting, the drug addled addict in this case, is a police officer.
Problem is they know they ain't going to bust them at all, but it sure looks like an episode of Cops , just the subject content alone. Okay, that said, what I do have a major problem with is hypocrites, who either are so blind to themselves, and unwilling to ever look at self, meaning introspection, they are blind the the very core of who they are. Now, it's either that, or they are a whole new kind of stupid, and and I know what you mean, as we're all guilty of doing stupid crap sometimes, and that's ok too, but when you've been on a good one for the last 10 hours, days, weeks, even 10 years, and somehow you get the notion it's a good time to go preach the salvation of Jesus for sinners, I'm of the opinion, you need to sit down, come down, then go lay down, and sleep. On the same token, if you're going to act like a good chaste little girl demure virgin type in the company of some, but with others, you're going to be just as raunchy, slutty, and vocally have sailors telling you to please watch your language, don't expect me to join you in your hypocrisy, especially when in very short order you're going to shift the blame of it, onto me.
Somehow though, after I was the one to come forward about our, shall we say "indiscretions", and in so doing presented the facts with my full complicity expressed and noted, yet somehow, she's a victim, and I oddly enough have been consistently treated, and ostracized as the consummate perp. ALL LIES. The other reason, or hope I have in doing this, is I'll actually get some followers, and then you, her peers will decide based on the evidence whether or not it is unanimous that she is indeed as I've labeled her, or if I'm a paranoid weirdo who needs mental help. Well, actually, I don't want to give away the farm on the first day, but I'll say this, either this wholesome flower indeed did subject me to some horribly abusive words, attitude, I must confess, under duress, I've made some empty threats more than a few. Anyway, as I was saying if this woman truly is a neuro-typical, and she's the only persob who's could be considered germane in my life, than somehow in a vacuum somewhere I developed according to psychiatrists, and clinicians CPTSD, Anxiety Disorder, Panic Attacks, and even some Dissociation, just for good measure. None of that is possible in a vacuum, and you and I dear reader know this is all purely academic, as in what I've written just to this point, providing it's veracity is without question, and I know it is; If being a cluster b malignant narcissist was against the law in itself, she'd done been gaffled up, and probably doing hole time for getting on somebody's nerves, which to me is poetic justice, because let me tell you, she's got some freaking nerve.
Okay, shall we begin?
The Covert Narcissist
- Always trying to project a false image Hmmm, well I don't know about ya'll, but it seems pretty obvious to me, this isn't Sunday go to meeting attire. Certainly not attire that lines up with this, but that's just my opinion, you tell me. Let me also say; I think it's hot, and sexy, and fun, but that's not the debate, as we're not discussing a chosen lifestyle (singular), but a fraud, who wants to leave an impression of Biblical principle, but live a life of hedonistic debauchery. Get where I'm coming from?
DONE
2. Always having a grandiose personality
Well, she claims to have raised her brother from the dead on 3 separate occasions, but I'm not sure I have that screenshot. Now we also need to keep in mind her ruse was that of a very submissive, even sycophantic (slave) woman, although it was easy to tell early on it was all a game to her, as she's ALWAYS done exactly as she pleased, because ruse or not, she must always have abject control of her "relationships."
3. Getting pleasure when you put other people down
3. Getting pleasure when you put other people down
This is an emphatic yes, however she didn't do this long regarding others around me, as I wouldn't join in, because as I said I'm the consummate INFJ nice guy, and have just simply never been into gossip. As far as I'm concerned great minds discuss to discover ideas, small minds discuss to dishonor people.
4. Having a hard time displaying emotion
She can feign/fake any emotion except one that I'm aware of, and I think this is because of such a shortage of it offered to her always, and I'd also go as far as to say all the way up to the point she met me, as she could not comprehend why I had tears streaming down my cheeks, as she would tell me the stories of her being abused and neglected at such a young age, still tears me up when i think about baby michelle being beat up, or felt up, by some other insidious devil. Empathy is completely foreign to her, as when she was trying to convince me she had high empathy, she explained it as this; "Everyone I know says I'm the most empathetic person they know because I cry more about others problems than I do my own. (huh?)
Now, either there are a lot of people ignorant as she is when it comes to the actual definition of most things, and this is especially when the definition simply expounds on something she is obviously clueless about, and in this case, the thing is an emotion, a selfless, other-centered emotion, which the consummate self centered narcissist or sociopath, would have a field day with, as far as taunting, like the owner of what used to be the place I managed,but more so the meaning of empathy or empathetic where she's gonna need it just don't put anything big in her pillow, or in her bed.
5. Only listening in order to be able to speak eventually.
6. Always taking your achievements a mile further
7. Always talking down to people
5. Only listening in order to be able to speak eventually.
7. Always talking down to people
8. Putting blame on those around you
9. Obsession with success and power
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